Silk Road Farm · Raymond, California

Meet the Beasts

Herein lies the full and unabridged census of every creature who presently holds dominion over this delightfully decrepit estate — each one possessed of a self-appointed office, an unshakeable conviction of their own importance, and not a shred of relevant qualification.

The Hounds

A standing regiment of dogs patrols the realm — devoted, opinionated, and constitutionally incapable of permitting a guest to arrive unannounced.

Khosro Khan Khosro Khan Khosro Khan

Black Russian Terrier

Khosro Khan

Guardian of Matrimonial Festivities — and now, of the entire realm

Noble and self-appointed to every role of consequence. He takes RSVPs, late guests, and general disrespect personally. Should you require passage anywhere upon the estate, Khosro Khan offers complimentary escort services — whether or not you have requested them.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Captain

A title is being deliberated

Captain awaits his dossier. A few honest particulars from Amir & Sasha and a fitting rank shall be conferred.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Poopsie

The Gentlest Soul in the Realm

Poopsie would not, could not, hurt a fly — and the record bears grim witness: she once received a sharp corrective bop from the late Lillith merely for the unforgivable crime of a single curious sniff. She bore the injustice with the dignity of a saint, which is what she is.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Zeus

Bearer of the White-Tipped Nose

Known in full as White Tip Nose Zeus, lest he be confused with any lesser Zeus. He wears his pale-tipped snout as other gods wear thunderbolts — a mark of distinction, a heraldic device, and an excellent reason to be admired.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Tippy Toe

A title is being deliberated

A dossier for Tippy Toe awaits the testimony of those who know her best. Amir & Sasha — a sentence or two of plain truth, and she shall be enshrined in full.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Xaihou

A title is being deliberated

Xaihou's chronicle remains, for the present, an honourable blank — awaiting the true particulars before the drama may be respectfully applied.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Prim

A title is being deliberated

Prim awaits her dossier. Tell me what she is truly like, and I shall robe her in suitable melodrama.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Wolf

A title is being deliberated

A name of considerable menace, attached — one suspects — to a creature of considerable softness. The full account awaits Amir & Sasha's word.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Juniper

A title is being deliberated

Juniper's particulars are not yet recorded. A few honest words and her legend shall be duly composed.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Molly

A title is being deliberated

Molly's dossier stands ready and empty, patient as the grave, awaiting only the truth of her character.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Poppy

A title is being deliberated

Poppy awaits enshrinement. Provide her plain particulars and the gothic finery shall follow.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Dog

Milo

A title is being deliberated

The last of the unwritten hounds. Milo's chronicle awaits its first true sentence from those who love him.

The Cats

Adventurers, diplomats, and inheritors of restless blood. The line of Jaffar endures — JJ and Odette now keep the orchard, and their offspring patrol it after them.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Cat

JJ

Heir to the Restless Blood

Son of the legendary Jaffar, brought home from one of his father's final adventures — a parting gift, a settling of affairs. JJ has since paired with Odette, and together they are parents of a litter of five, so that something of Jaffar's wandering spirit still patrols the realm.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Cat

Odette

Matriarch of the Orchard Line

Companion to JJ and mother of a litter of five — Inbetween, Pretty Kitty, Odile, Adventure Kitty, and Black Face Kitty (the last of whom has since departed the realm; see In Loving Memory). The orchard's next generation is hers.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Cat · kitten of JJ & Odette

Odile

A title is being deliberated

One of the famous litter of five. Odile's full dossier awaits — tell me her ways and she shall be set down properly.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Cat · kitten of JJ & Odette

Inbetween

A title is being deliberated

A kitten of the orchard line, bearing the most curious name in the census. Her chronicle awaits Amir & Sasha's word.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Cat · kitten of JJ & Odette

Adventure Kitty

A title is being deliberated

Named, one suspects, with prophecy in mind. Should the name prove accurate, her dossier promises to be a thrilling one — pending the true account.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Cat · kitten of JJ & Odette

Pretty Kitty

A title is being deliberated

The last of the surviving litter of five. Her particulars await recording — a few plain words and the finery shall follow.

The Babydoll Flock

Small, woolly, and astonishingly self-important. The flock includes the estate's official Oracle, and at least two ladies who insist they are courtiers.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Babydoll Sheep · ram

Keith

Resident Oracle of Doom

The estate's foremost prophet. Keith predicts afternoons of questionable merriment, stares vacantly at doors as though reading omens within the grain, and holds surprisingly loud opinions on modern agriculture. He greets all visitors with enthusiasm; our 4x4 driver has mastered the delicate art of dodging him.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Babydoll Sheep · ewe

Saffron

Lady-in-Waiting

Saffron carries herself as a courtier of the flock, attending the Oracle Keith with what she considers appropriate ceremony. Her full dossier — and the formal confirmation of her title — await Amir & Sasha's word.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Babydoll Sheep · ewe

Lavender

Lady-in-Waiting

The flock's second proposed courtier, and a ewe who has known sorrow — her lamb Whisper was stillborn, and is tenderly remembered among the departed. Her dossier and her title await confirmation.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Babydoll Sheep

Earnesto

A title is being deliberated

Earnesto awaits his dossier. A few honest particulars and he shall be robed in the melodrama he so plainly deserves.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Babydoll Sheep

Pistachio

A title is being deliberated

Pistachio's chronicle stands empty for now — patient, woolly, and awaiting the truth of his character.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Babydoll Sheep

Olive

A title is being deliberated

Olive awaits enshrinement among the flock. Provide her plain particulars and the gothic finery shall be tailored to fit.

The Waterfowl

A modest but vocal contingent governs the estate's puddles, ponds, and any spilled water it can claim as territory.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Ducks

Persophin & Ducklings

A title is being deliberated

Persophin presides over a small retinue of ducklings, the whole company moving as one indignant procession. Their dossier awaits Amir & Sasha's word before the drama may be respectfully applied.

The Braying Chorus

Two donkeys, one hereditary office, and a volume of greeting entirely disproportionate to any occasion.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Donkey

Vera

Matriarch of the Braying Chorus

Surprisingly loud for a wedding coordinator, and louder still for one who was never formally appointed. Vera fancies herself a charter member of the unofficial welcoming committee, and she is the mother of Junebug — to whom the office shall one day pass.

A portrait shall be hung here in due course

Donkey

Junebug

Heir to the Braying Chorus

Vera's daughter and rightful successor, every bit as opinionated as her mother and twice as eager to prove it. Her fuller dossier awaits Amir & Sasha's word — though her volume requires no further documentation.

In Loving Memory

The departed companions of Silk Road Farm — remembered fondly, and kept forever upon the rolls. The realm does not forget its own.

Jaffar

Savannah Cat (K2)

Jaffar

The Nine-Lived Wanderer · Lord of Borrowed Junk Cars

A creature of golden-and-brown spotted splendour, green-eyed and possessed of precisely one testicle, Jaffar did not so much use his nine lives as spend them — recklessly, gloriously, all the way down to the last. He arrived as an undisclosed household, refused all human hands for months, and accepted only Timur the Mastiff as his ambassador to our species. In time he warmed to us and became an adventurer of the most exhausting order: orchard patrols, slumber in the neighbour's rusted junk cars, and open campaign against the neighbourhood cats — a war that cost him a chunk of ear he wore ever after as a medal. In his final weeks he brought home his son, JJ — a father settling his affairs — so that his restless blood still walks the orchard. Taken by a passing car, his nine lives spent in full. Rest, you magnificent, faintly irritated wanderer.

Tuxedo Cat · a beloved rescue

Lillith

The Cat for the People

A classic and elegant lady in formal black-and-white, Lillith came into our lives by way of an Auto Zone — a kitten who kept letting herself into the store and refusing every escort back to the pavement. When the manager moved to cast her out one final time, we could not stand witness to such injustice; we took her into our arms and brought her home. She adored humans and gave her affection freely, though the dogs she would not abide — even gentle Poopsie earned a corrective bop for a single curious sniff. Taken from us far too soon in a dog attack. We are grateful beyond measure for the years she spent warm, and fed, and adored. The bed is colder without her.

Dog · runt of the litter, daughter of Poopsie & Xaihou

Yellow

Our Littlest Hero · She Who Could Be Held in One Hand

Some beasts of this realm are measured in long seasons. Yellow was measured in two months — and let no one mistake brevity for smallness of spirit, for her presence was strong and her heart was mighty. She came into the world the runt of Poopsie and Xaihou's love affair, small enough to be held entire in the palm of a single hand, with the face of a panda and black fur ringed about her eyes. A bump rose upon her elbow until that little front leg was very nearly bowed, and she would run with it bent and faintly hovering — and when it burst, Poopsie took the tending of it into her own care until it healed clean. Through it all she kept a gait entirely her own — an extra wobble, a skip, a hop folded into every step — and she would run the length of our hallways while we announced her arrival, "Yellow!!", with a joy no words have ever been built to carry. She was soft beyond all reckoning, and never far from her blanket. We laid her to rest with it, so that she would never be far from it, and it never far from her. Rest now, Yellow — softest of all, and never alone. The hallways are quieter, and we are so glad you ran them.

Babydoll Sheep · lamb

Whisper

The Briefest Guest of Silk Road Farm

Lavender's lamb, stillborn — with us for the briefest of breaths, and loved no less for it. We never had the chance to formally make her acquaintance, and that dossier stays forever unwritten, a blank page we hold tenderly. But let the record show she was not alone: Poopsie kept watch over her, a faithful guardian for the whole of her small life. Rest, smallest one. You were watched over. The farm holds a place for you.

Cat · kitten of JJ & Odette

Black Face Kitty

Of the Orchard Line

One of JJ and Odette's litter of five, departed too soon. Remembered fondly among the orchard's lost. Rest well, small one.

And the companions whose names we keep, that the realm may never forget them —

Timur Khan · Horus  —  hounds of the old guard
Mrs. Kitty & Mrs. Kitty's Kitties  —  Jaffar's first family
Winstin · Winnona · Pretty · Crazy Feathers · Beatrice · Conswella  —  the departed hens
Willow · Wasabi  —  of the Babydoll flock
The Duck Gang  ·  the 2 Peeiiigggs

The census of Silk Road Farm is a living document and shall grow as new beasts are summoned. Should a creature await its title or dossier, simply provide the plain truth of its character — the melodrama shall be tailored to fit.